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My mom wanted me to apply to Princeton, cause she just I guess since I was a kid had this dream that I would apply to Princeton, and it was not happening.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
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Princeton
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More quotes by Tina Fey

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Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? “I’m not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I’m just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I’d like to cut your chest open.” The crowd cheers.
Tina Fey
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You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go.
Tina Fey
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MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure? I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.
Tina Fey
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I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it's a little unseemly for women of a certain age.
Tina Fey
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I was the editor of the school newspaper and in drama club and choir, so I was not a popular girl in the traditional sense, but I think I was known for being relatively scathing.
Tina Fey
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If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes.
Tina Fey
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An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
Tina Fey
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In response to the escalating violence in Iraq, President Bush is delaying the return home of 25,000 troops and will actually add reinforcements to the south. Then in a symbolic gesture he pulled down the mission accomplished banner, put on a flight suit, walked backwards to a jet fighter and flew it in reverse off an aircraft carrier.
Tina Fey
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I have a suspicion that the definition of crazy in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f*** [sleep with her] anymore.
Tina Fey
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Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity.
Tina Fey
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When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
Tina Fey
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In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.
Tina Fey
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Every kid has something they're good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
Tina Fey
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I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal I just don’t actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
Tina Fey
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I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.
Tina Fey
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Finally the world would see my full range of comedy characters - from grouchy librarian to Russian librarian.
Tina Fey
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Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat.
Tina Fey
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North Korea threatened to attack if Sony Pictures released The Interview, forcing us all to pretend that we wanted to see it.
Tina Fey
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I'm still technically employed by the National Broadcasting Company.
Tina Fey
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I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.
Tina Fey