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If you ever start to feel good about yourself... .... they have this thing called the internet.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Feel
Feels
Thing
Good
Internet
Called
Start
Ever

More quotes by Tina Fey

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In real life these women experienced different sides of the same sexism coin. People who didn't like Hillary called her a ballbuster. People who didn't like Sarah called her Caribou Barbie. People attempted to marginalize these women based on their gender.
Tina Fey
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30 Rock is a little different from other current sitcoms, in that it's fast-paced, but the pace comes from the actors, not the editing.
Tina Fey
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You can fix it as soon as you get up - you brush and use mouthwash - but there’s something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave.
Tina Fey
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Every kid has something they're good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
Tina Fey
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This worked out perfectly for me in college, because what nineteen-year-old Virginia boy doesn't want a wide-hipped, sarcastic Greek girl with short hair that's permed on top? What's that you say? None of them want that? You are correct.
Tina Fey
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It's like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific.
Tina Fey
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Television is a runaway train that you have to get on for nine months of the year. But at the same time, it has a wonderful immediacy.
Tina Fey
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Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
Tina Fey
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You can't control things by being nervous.
Tina Fey
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Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
Tina Fey
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Researches reported that they developed a self-healing plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The plastic will change the way airplanes are built and medicine is practiced. In a related story, Joan Rivers will never die.
Tina Fey
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Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
Tina Fey
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If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes.
Tina Fey
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Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.
Tina Fey
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I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process. People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States - and elsewhere.
Tina Fey
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Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?
Tina Fey
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The Supreme Court is expected to rule this week whether banning cross burning by groups like the Klu Klux Klan violates the first amendment. The outcome could affect the entertainment at Trent Lott's Christmas party.
Tina Fey
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I'm married, you know. I love my husband and I have a child.
Tina Fey
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MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure? I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.
Tina Fey
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At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.
Tina Fey