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Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Antique
Antiques
Ridiculous
Whenever

More quotes by Tina Fey

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In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone come out to you is the pretending to be surprised part.
Tina Fey
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Twitter seems like a busman's holiday: just more writing. I have no plans to do it. I'll just stick with my 24/7 webcam. I'm old-fashioned that way.
Tina Fey
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Every morning, when Alaskans wake up, one of the first things they do, is look outside to see if there are any Russians hanging around. And if there are, you gotta go up to them and ask, 'What are you doing here?' and if they can't give you a good reason, it's our responsibility to say, you know, 'Shoo! Get back over there!'
Tina Fey
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This requires a level of delusion/egomania usually reserved for popes and drag queens
Tina Fey
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In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby.
Tina Fey
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I had a gentleman in college tell me, during a date, that I could be really pretty if I lost some weight. On a date!
Tina Fey
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An acting teacher once told me, 'Greet everything with yes... Even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.'
Tina Fey
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Television is a runaway train that you have to get on for nine months of the year. But at the same time, it has a wonderful immediacy.
Tina Fey
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It doesn't matter if it's a school play or a dumb TV show. It's your work. You should care about it so much that people get annoyed with you.
Tina Fey
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Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy.
Tina Fey
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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.
Tina Fey
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There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
Tina Fey
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You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person's nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: No, I'm a person. You can't fix my underpants on the subway.
Tina Fey
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Steve Carell's Foxcatcher look took two hours to put on, including his hairstyling and make up. Just for comparison, it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as human woman.
Tina Fey
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Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we're like Oprah and Gale. Only we're not denying anything.
Tina Fey
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I don't like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don't think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
Tina Fey
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
Tina Fey
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In real life these women experienced different sides of the same sexism coin. People who didn't like Hillary called her a ballbuster. People who didn't like Sarah called her Caribou Barbie. People attempted to marginalize these women based on their gender.
Tina Fey
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(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
Tina Fey
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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
Tina Fey