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Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Antique
Antiques
Ridiculous
Whenever

More quotes by Tina Fey

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My problem with the traditional acting method was that I never understood what you were supposed to be thinking about when you're onstage.
Tina Fey
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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
Tina Fey
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Steve Carell's Foxcatcher look took two hours to put on, including his hairstyling and make up. Just for comparison, it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as human woman.
Tina Fey
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When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?
Tina Fey
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The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.
Tina Fey
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In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.
Tina Fey
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An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
Tina Fey
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One of the great things about doing animated movies is that you don't have to dress up or put on make-up.
Tina Fey
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North Korea threatened to attack if Sony Pictures released The Interview, forcing us all to pretend that we wanted to see it.
Tina Fey
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I really like John McCain. He's an awesome dude and was a lot of fun when he hosted SNL. I'd love to see a McCain-Giuliani rage ticket.
Tina Fey
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Pentagon records show that at least 8,000 members of the all-volunteer U.S. Army have deserted since the Iraq war began. Hey, at least somebody has an exit strategy.
Tina Fey
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If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes.
Tina Fey
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I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other.
Tina Fey
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I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, 'Yeah, I'm not cool enough for the West Village.'
Tina Fey
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My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald’s food turns into cold nonfood.
Tina Fey
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A new poll showed that 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq and the remaining 34% think that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.
Tina Fey
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I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.
Tina Fey
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Anne Hathaway you gave a stunning performance in Les Miserables. I have not seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were onstage with James Franco at the Oscars.
Tina Fey
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If a bout of creepy face sets in, the trick is to look away from the camera between shots and turn back only when necessary. This also limits how much of your soul the camera can steal.
Tina Fey
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Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show... called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.
Tina Fey