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Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Antique
Antiques
Ridiculous
Whenever

More quotes by Tina Fey

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My mom wanted me to apply to Princeton, cause she just I guess since I was a kid had this dream that I would apply to Princeton, and it was not happening.
Tina Fey
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A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.
Tina Fey
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I became immersed in the cult of improvisation. I was like one of those athletes trying to get into the Olympics. It was all about blind focus. I was so sure that I was doing exactly what I'd been put on this earth to do, and I would have done anything to make it onto that stage.
Tina Fey
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Every kid has something they're good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
Tina Fey
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This is what I tell young women who ask me for career advice. People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel that you are in competition with one another. You're up for a promotion. If they go for a woman, it'll be between you and Barbara. Don't be fooled. You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.
Tina Fey
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Even when I was at 'SNL,' I didn't do impersonations. I always wanted to be the kind of person who could do them - I always thought they were the coolest thing on the show - but I didn't have any experience.
Tina Fey
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Pentagon records show that at least 8,000 members of the all-volunteer U.S. Army have deserted since the Iraq war began. Hey, at least somebody has an exit strategy.
Tina Fey
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When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?
Tina Fey
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What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.
Tina Fey
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In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone come out to you is the pretending to be surprised part.
Tina Fey
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I'm still technically employed by the National Broadcasting Company.
Tina Fey
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I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I want to spend time with Oprah.
Tina Fey
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I don't like my feet. I'm not crazy about anybody's feet. But I have flat feet.
Tina Fey
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...I can't possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody's business and I'll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.
Tina Fey
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Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?
Tina Fey
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I work, and then whenever I have any other time, I'm with my daughter, and then I go to sleep. I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep. That's basically how we're doing it.
Tina Fey
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I found the recording sessions very freeing because you can really try things. When you're filming something, if you're improvising a film and you're wasting film and wasting a cameraman's time.
Tina Fey
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Don't be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable. For sketch writers, remember they're called sketches for a reason. They're not called oil paintings. Some of them are going to stink. You have to let them stink.
Tina Fey
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I am extremely square and obedient in nature!
Tina Fey
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I don't like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don't think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
Tina Fey