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Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Antiques
Ridiculous
Whenever
Antique

More quotes by Tina Fey

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I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room.
Tina Fey
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It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.
Tina Fey
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Admission is Paul Weitz's movie. This is Karen Croner - the screenwriter's - movie. To have such a lovely role in such a beautifully written script offered to me, it's like elves made the shoes.
Tina Fey
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Your characters should be as smart as you are, if not smarter.
Tina Fey
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I became immersed in the cult of improvisation. I was like one of those athletes trying to get into the Olympics. It was all about blind focus. I was so sure that I was doing exactly what I'd been put on this earth to do, and I would have done anything to make it onto that stage.
Tina Fey
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If you're an actor and you don't get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities.
Tina Fey
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If a bout of creepy face sets in, the trick is to look away from the camera between shots and turn back only when necessary. This also limits how much of your soul the camera can steal.
Tina Fey
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Some people work with a trainer, some people work with a stylist. I work with a celebrity fecalist. A fecalist is basically a person who comes and collects my stools, and then examines them to see if I'm eating right and if I should be drinking more water and what my moods should be.
Tina Fey
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Finally the world would see my full range of comedy characters - from grouchy librarian to Russian librarian.
Tina Fey
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I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, 'Yeah, I'm not cool enough for the West Village.'
Tina Fey
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I'm married, you know. I love my husband and I have a child.
Tina Fey
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In response to the escalating violence in Iraq, President Bush is delaying the return home of 25,000 troops and will actually add reinforcements to the south. Then in a symbolic gesture he pulled down the mission accomplished banner, put on a flight suit, walked backwards to a jet fighter and flew it in reverse off an aircraft carrier.
Tina Fey
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Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
Tina Fey
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George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an advisor to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person commission investigating rules of war violation in the Gaza Strip. So tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.
Tina Fey
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In Afghanistan this week, outnumbered Northern Alliance rebels on horseback defeated Taliban forces armed with tanks. Experts say the victory is just like the story of David and Goliath and David's friend, the Stealth Bomber.
Tina Fey
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I had to get back to work... NBC has me under contract the baby and I only have a verbal agreement.
Tina Fey
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I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.
Tina Fey
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[Television] is a great medium for writers, because there's just no time for a studio to interfere very long. You write it, you shoot it it's on TV.
Tina Fey
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You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.
Tina Fey
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North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror. Even more amazing: not the worst review the movie got.
Tina Fey