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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Thinking
Exercise
Feats
People
Design
Faint
Funny
Workout
Hope
Reward
Ends
Perform
Someone
Rewards
Even
Machines
Workouts
Think
Sex
Superhuman

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You can fix it as soon as you get up - you brush and use mouthwash - but there’s something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave.
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I was like, oh, I want to sign up for Catwoman, and then Anne Hathaway had already signed up for it.
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After college, I knew I wanted to work in comedy, so the first thing I did was go to where the comedy was. I moved from Charlottesville to Chicago, because that's where The Second City and Improv Olympics are. You have to go wherever you need to go to study what interests you.
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The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh.
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When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: Hey, this isn't the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don't know how much longer I'm going to have!
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I was wearing my best Gap turtleneck and my dates were two adult lesbians, so yea, I was pretty cool.
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One of the great things about doing animated movies is that you don't have to dress up or put on make-up.
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Don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions... Do your thing and don't care if they like it.
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You can't control things by being nervous.
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In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.
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I work, and then whenever I have any other time, I'm with my daughter, and then I go to sleep. I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep. That's basically how we're doing it.
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Mary Tyler Moore was a working woman whose story lines were not always about dating and men. They were about work friendships and relationships, which is what I feel my adult life has mostly been about.
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The upsides of acting in things is mostly getting your hair done and having people give you clothes. So as long as you can have a little bit of that in your life, then it's just as delightful to be behind camera.
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30 Rock is a little different from other current sitcoms, in that it's fast-paced, but the pace comes from the actors, not the editing.
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My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald’s food turns into cold nonfood.
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I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it's a little unseemly for women of a certain age.
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The comedy for the Democrats is that they're showing off too much. They need to be putting a boring white guy out there to kind of get a hold of things. Once the boring white guy is out there, then you bust out the junior senator from Illinois who smokes and does cocaine.
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As an improviser, I always find it jarring when I meet someone in real life whose first answer is no. “No, we can’t do that.” “No, that’s not in the budget.” “No, I will not hold your hand for a dollar.” What kind of way is that to live?
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Steve Carell's Foxcatcher look took two hours to put on, including his hairstyling and make up. Just for comparison, it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as human woman.
Tina Fey
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The topic of working moms is a tap-dance recital in a minefield.
Tina Fey