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I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Funny
Dreamed
Never
Prize
Would
Mostly
Receive
Mark
Humor
Austrian
Style
Twain
American
Typically

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Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.
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I work, and then whenever I have any other time, I'm with my daughter, and then I go to sleep. I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep. That's basically how we're doing it.
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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
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My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald’s food turns into cold nonfood.
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Every morning, when Alaskans wake up, one of the first things they do, is look outside to see if there are any Russians hanging around. And if there are, you gotta go up to them and ask, 'What are you doing here?' and if they can't give you a good reason, it's our responsibility to say, you know, 'Shoo! Get back over there!'
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Researches reported that they developed a self-healing plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The plastic will change the way airplanes are built and medicine is practiced. In a related story, Joan Rivers will never die.
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North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror. Even more amazing: not the worst review the movie got.
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You can't control things by being nervous.
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At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.
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I can't believe you recently had a baby. How do you do it? The baby starts to come down...and once that happens you can't-it comes out. Whether you let it or not, the baby comes out. So that's how I did it.
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I have two daughters, and we live here in Manhattan, and having gone through the Manhattan kindergarten application process, nothing will ever rival the stress of that.
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If you want to be a screenwriter, take an acting class to get a sense of what you're asking actors to do. Learning other skills will help you communicate with people and respect what they do.
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I was like, oh, I want to sign up for Catwoman, and then Anne Hathaway had already signed up for it.
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I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, 'Yeah, I'm not cool enough for the West Village.'
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Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.
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Don't be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable. For sketch writers, remember they're called sketches for a reason. They're not called oil paintings. Some of them are going to stink. You have to let them stink.
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Every kid has something they're good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
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Steve Carell's Foxcatcher look took two hours to put on, including his hairstyling and make up. Just for comparison, it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as human woman.
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When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: Hey, this isn't the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don't know how much longer I'm going to have!
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I have a suspicion that the definition of crazy in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f*** [sleep with her] anymore.
Tina Fey