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Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Feels
Saturday
Life
Witty
Productive
Control
Courses
Course
Feel
Sometimes

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I was like, oh, I want to sign up for Catwoman, and then Anne Hathaway had already signed up for it.
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I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It's better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
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Life is improvisation. All of those [improv] classes were like church to me. The training had seeped into me and changed who I am.
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Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.
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Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?
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Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy.
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I never get to go to movies, because I'm a mom.
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A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.
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I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other.
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I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room.
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Some people work with a trainer, some people work with a stylist. I work with a celebrity fecalist. A fecalist is basically a person who comes and collects my stools, and then examines them to see if I'm eating right and if I should be drinking more water and what my moods should be.
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I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process. People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States - and elsewhere.
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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
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We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?
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A new poll showed that 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq and the remaining 34% think that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.
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I had my hair in a ponytail and looked my trademark exhausted.
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There are so many quiet times you spend as a mother that aren't glorified but are a foundation for your kids. No matter what, there was always a thick safety net under this trapeze.
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This requires a level of delusion/egomania usually reserved for popes and drag queens
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Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.
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It's like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific.
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