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...I can't possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody's business and I'll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
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Baby
Never
Unless
Time
Nobody
Life
Second
Cases
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More quotes by Tina Fey

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You can fix it as soon as you get up - you brush and use mouthwash - but there’s something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave.
Tina Fey
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[Television] is a great medium for writers, because there's just no time for a studio to interfere very long. You write it, you shoot it it's on TV.
Tina Fey
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It is less dangerous to draw a cartoon of Allah French-kissing Uncle Sam — which, let me make it very clear, I have not done — than it is to speak honestly about [working moms].
Tina Fey
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I'm still technically employed by the National Broadcasting Company.
Tina Fey
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Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
Tina Fey
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Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
Tina Fey
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I really like John McCain. He's an awesome dude and was a lot of fun when he hosted SNL. I'd love to see a McCain-Giuliani rage ticket.
Tina Fey
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When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: Hey, this isn't the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don't know how much longer I'm going to have!
Tina Fey
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If you ever start to feel good about yourself... .... they have this thing called the internet.
Tina Fey
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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
Tina Fey
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What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.
Tina Fey
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I have a suspicion that the definition of crazy in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f*** [sleep with her] anymore.
Tina Fey
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The eyes are the window to where the soul is supposed to be.
Tina Fey
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The ideal situation for a parent is one that no one has - having a fulfilling job that requires you to work three days a week. It's better for the parents, because they get to spend time with the children and also have a source of pride and achievement - and income - outside the home.
Tina Fey
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Some people work with a trainer, some people work with a stylist. I work with a celebrity fecalist. A fecalist is basically a person who comes and collects my stools, and then examines them to see if I'm eating right and if I should be drinking more water and what my moods should be.
Tina Fey
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If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes.
Tina Fey
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Every kid has something they're good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
Tina Fey
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Yeah, it's tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it's true. My husband Jeff Richmond saw a diamond in the rough and took me in.
Tina Fey
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I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal I just don’t actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
Tina Fey
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In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone come out to you is the pretending to be surprised part.
Tina Fey