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You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams.
Tina Fey
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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
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Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
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More quotes by Tina Fey
I'm not that good looking... nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.
Tina Fey
It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.
Tina Fey
The comedy for the Democrats is that they're showing off too much. They need to be putting a boring white guy out there to kind of get a hold of things. Once the boring white guy is out there, then you bust out the junior senator from Illinois who smokes and does cocaine.
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Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She'll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week's episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10. I had to get back to work, .. NBC has me under contract the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.
Tina Fey
My problem with the traditional acting method was that I never understood what you were supposed to be thinking about when you're onstage.
Tina Fey
I had a gentleman in college tell me, during a date, that I could be really pretty if I lost some weight. On a date!
Tina Fey
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
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Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.
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What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.
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A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.
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Finally the world would see my full range of comedy characters - from grouchy librarian to Russian librarian.
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You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.
Tina Fey
I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room.
Tina Fey
You can fix it as soon as you get up - you brush and use mouthwash - but there’s something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave.
Tina Fey
Researches reported that they developed a self-healing plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The plastic will change the way airplanes are built and medicine is practiced. In a related story, Joan Rivers will never die.
Tina Fey
I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it's a little unseemly for women of a certain age.
Tina Fey
A new poll showed that 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq and the remaining 34% think that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.
Tina Fey
Life is improvisation. All of those [improv] classes were like church to me. The training had seeped into me and changed who I am.
Tina Fey
An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
Tina Fey
I learned quickly that trying to force Country Folk to love the Big City is like telling your gay cousin, You just haven't met the right girl yet.
Tina Fey