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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Chute
Witty
Motivation
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More quotes by Tina Fey

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My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald’s food turns into cold nonfood.
Tina Fey
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I never get to go to movies, because I'm a mom.
Tina Fey
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We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?
Tina Fey
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I was like, oh, I want to sign up for Catwoman, and then Anne Hathaway had already signed up for it.
Tina Fey
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Instead of trying to fit an impossible ideal, I took a personal inventory of all my healthy body parts for which I am grateful: Straight Greek eyebrows. They start at the hairline at my temple and, left unchecked, will grow straight across my face and onto yours.
Tina Fey
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The thing that always fascinated me about improv is that it's basically a happy accident that you think you're initiating.
Tina Fey
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Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? “I’m not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I’m just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I’d like to cut your chest open.” The crowd cheers.
Tina Fey
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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
Tina Fey
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Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.
Tina Fey
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...I can't possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody's business and I'll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.
Tina Fey
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I became immersed in the cult of improvisation. I was like one of those athletes trying to get into the Olympics. It was all about blind focus. I was so sure that I was doing exactly what I'd been put on this earth to do, and I would have done anything to make it onto that stage.
Tina Fey
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Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.
Tina Fey
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North Korea threatened to attack if Sony Pictures released The Interview, forcing us all to pretend that we wanted to see it.
Tina Fey
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You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams.
Tina Fey
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(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
Tina Fey
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30 Rock is a little different from other current sitcoms, in that it's fast-paced, but the pace comes from the actors, not the editing.
Tina Fey
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This worked out perfectly for me in college, because what nineteen-year-old Virginia boy doesn't want a wide-hipped, sarcastic Greek girl with short hair that's permed on top? What's that you say? None of them want that? You are correct.
Tina Fey
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Researches reported that they developed a self-healing plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The plastic will change the way airplanes are built and medicine is practiced. In a related story, Joan Rivers will never die.
Tina Fey
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When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
Tina Fey
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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.
Tina Fey