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I was wearing my best Gap turtleneck and my dates were two adult lesbians, so yea, I was pretty cool.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Adult
Wearing
Cool
Adults
Turtleneck
Pretty
Turtlenecks
Two
Lesbians
Best
Dates
Gaps

More quotes by Tina Fey

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Pentagon records show that at least 8,000 members of the all-volunteer U.S. Army have deserted since the Iraq war began. Hey, at least somebody has an exit strategy.
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You’re in competition with everyone.
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Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat.
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The comedy for the Democrats is that they're showing off too much. They need to be putting a boring white guy out there to kind of get a hold of things. Once the boring white guy is out there, then you bust out the junior senator from Illinois who smokes and does cocaine.
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I don't enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don't have that kind of 'I love the bad guys' thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people.
Tina Fey
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes.
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The ladies of comedy now are comfortable dressing up. It's not forbidden anymore.
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There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
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If you’re looking for a spiritual allegory in the style of C.S. Lewis, I guess you could piece something together with Lorne Michaels as a symbol for God and my struggles with hair removal as a metaphor for virtue
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Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am all about money. I mean, just look how well my line of zodiac-inspired toe rings and homeopathic children's medications are selling on Home Shopping Network.
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We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?
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I would not trade any of these features for anybody else’s. I wouldn’t trade the small thin-lipped mouth that makes me resemble my nephew. I wouldn’t even trade the acne scar on my right cheek, because that recurring zit spent more time with me in college than any boy ever did.
Tina Fey
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Life is improvisation.
Tina Fey
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I was a very confident little kid.
Tina Fey
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Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we're like Oprah and Gale. Only we're not denying anything.
Tina Fey
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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion, just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do
Tina Fey
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Every morning, when Alaskans wake up, one of the first things they do, is look outside to see if there are any Russians hanging around. And if there are, you gotta go up to them and ask, 'What are you doing here?' and if they can't give you a good reason, it's our responsibility to say, you know, 'Shoo! Get back over there!'
Tina Fey
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You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go.
Tina Fey
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The ideal situation for a parent is one that no one has - having a fulfilling job that requires you to work three days a week. It's better for the parents, because they get to spend time with the children and also have a source of pride and achievement - and income - outside the home.
Tina Fey