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What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.
Tina Fey
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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
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Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
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Forty
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More quotes by Tina Fey
Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy.
Tina Fey
It is less dangerous to draw a cartoon of Allah French-kissing Uncle Sam — which, let me make it very clear, I have not done — than it is to speak honestly about [working moms].
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I was like, oh, I want to sign up for Catwoman, and then Anne Hathaway had already signed up for it.
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Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.
Tina Fey
Some people work with a trainer, some people work with a stylist. I work with a celebrity fecalist. A fecalist is basically a person who comes and collects my stools, and then examines them to see if I'm eating right and if I should be drinking more water and what my moods should be.
Tina Fey
A new poll showed that 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq and the remaining 34% think that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.
Tina Fey
Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death.
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I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.
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A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.
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I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It's better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
Tina Fey
If a bout of creepy face sets in, the trick is to look away from the camera between shots and turn back only when necessary. This also limits how much of your soul the camera can steal.
Tina Fey
I don't like my feet. I'm not crazy about anybody's feet. But I have flat feet.
Tina Fey
You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.
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North Korea threatened to attack if Sony Pictures released The Interview, forcing us all to pretend that we wanted to see it.
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(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
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Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She'll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week's episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10. I had to get back to work, .. NBC has me under contract the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.
Tina Fey
An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
Tina Fey
In Afghanistan this week, outnumbered Northern Alliance rebels on horseback defeated Taliban forces armed with tanks. Experts say the victory is just like the story of David and Goliath and David's friend, the Stealth Bomber.
Tina Fey
To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.
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Last night the Taliban offered to release eight Westerners if the U.S. promised not to attack. The State Department declined but thanked the Taliban for the offer, saying it really felt good to laugh again.
Tina Fey