Quote

I have two daughters, and we live here in Manhattan, and having gone through the Manhattan kindergarten application process, nothing will ever rival the stress of that.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Process
Kindergarten
Two
Rivals
Ever
Manhattan
Live
Daughters
Nothing
Application
Stress
Daughter
Gone
Rival

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Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
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In real life these women experienced different sides of the same sexism coin. People who didn't like Hillary called her a ballbuster. People who didn't like Sarah called her Caribou Barbie. People attempted to marginalize these women based on their gender.
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Life is improvisation. All of those [improv] classes were like church to me. The training had seeped into me and changed who I am.
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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
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If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes.
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You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person's nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: No, I'm a person. You can't fix my underpants on the subway.
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I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.
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At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.
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If you’re looking for a spiritual allegory in the style of C.S. Lewis, I guess you could piece something together with Lorne Michaels as a symbol for God and my struggles with hair removal as a metaphor for virtue
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You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.
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You can fix it as soon as you get up - you brush and use mouthwash - but there’s something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave.
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The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.
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Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? “I’m not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I’m just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I’d like to cut your chest open.” The crowd cheers.
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I had to get back to work... NBC has me under contract the baby and I only have a verbal agreement.
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Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
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