Quote

As you get older you're told to be sensible, but it's important for writing if you're a comic that you're able to still access that childlike thing.

Tim Vine

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Tim Vine
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: March 4
Actor
Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Timothy Mark Vine
Punslinger
Thing
Access
Older
Told
Stills
Still
Able
Childlike
Important
Sensible
Writing
Comic

More quotes by Tim Vine

Image
I'm not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that's the kind of rock and roll venue. The popularity of stand-up means that some people are getting to play rock star venues.
Tim Vine
Image
So I went down the local supermarket, I said I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it, he said Those are pickled onions.
Tim Vine
Image
You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.
Tim Vine
Image
This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, I want you to trace someone for me.
Tim Vine
Image
Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.
Tim Vine
Image
My mate asked me What do you think of voluntary work? I said I wouldn't do it if you paid me.
Tim Vine
Image
You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle.
Tim Vine
Image
I went to the doctor. I said to him I'm frightened of lapels. He said, You've got cholera.
Tim Vine
Image
Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people.
Tim Vine
Image
So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said Analogue. I said No, just a watch.
Tim Vine
Image
I'll tell you what makes my blood boil?... Crematoriums.
Tim Vine
Image
Now did you know if a stick insect laid it's eggs in a jar of Bovril it will give birth to a litter of twiglets.
Tim Vine
Image
So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'
Tim Vine
Image
People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff.
Tim Vine
Image
Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.
Tim Vine
Image
Black beauty - he's a dark horse.
Tim Vine
Image
Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Tim Vine
Image
So I was getting into my car and this bloke says to me, 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!'
Tim Vine
Image
I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.
Tim Vine
Image
I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
Tim Vine