Quote

People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff.

Tim Vine

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Tim Vine
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: March 4
Actor
Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Timothy Mark Vine
Punslinger
Mind
Busy
Really
Garden
Think
Outside
Thinking
Quite
Like
Looking
People
Stuff
Hedge
Must
Spiders
Going
Driven

More quotes by Tim Vine

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One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out
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Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.
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Now did you know if a stick insect laid it's eggs in a jar of Bovril it will give birth to a litter of twiglets.
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My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have hanging up on your wall say a lot about you. I've got ones of Evel Knievel, Elvis and Starsky and Hutch, signed by David Soul.
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I went to the doctor. I said to him I'm frightened of lapels. He said, You've got cholera.
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So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'
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So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R.
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I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.
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I took part in the sun-tanning Olympics – I just got bronze.
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I went into a shop and I said, Can someone sell me a kettle. The bloke said Kenwood I said, Where is he?
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This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, I want you to trace someone for me.
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You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle.
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My mate asked me What do you think of voluntary work? I said I wouldn't do it if you paid me.
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So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.'
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If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.
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Velcro: what a rip-off.
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People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
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Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people.
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As you get older you're told to be sensible, but it's important for writing if you're a comic that you're able to still access that childlike thing.
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Comedy covers such a wide range of different styles that I'm not really qualified to talk on all of them any more than anyone else is.
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