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If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.
Tim Vine
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Tim Vine
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: March 4
Actor
Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Timothy Mark Vine
Punslinger
Doesn
Stories
Liners
Wells
Weave
Well
Overall
Really
Count
Narrative
Otherwise
Story
More quotes by Tim Vine
Comedy covers such a wide range of different styles that I'm not really qualified to talk on all of them any more than anyone else is.
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I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
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One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out
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Velcro: what a rip-off.
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I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.
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Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.
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Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people.
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Now did you know if a stick insect laid it's eggs in a jar of Bovril it will give birth to a litter of twiglets.
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Black beauty - he's a dark horse.
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I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
Tim Vine
You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.
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So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'
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I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.
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You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle.
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I took part in the sun-tanning Olympics – I just got bronze.
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I'm not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that's the kind of rock and roll venue. The popularity of stand-up means that some people are getting to play rock star venues.
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People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff.
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As you get older you're told to be sensible, but it's important for writing if you're a comic that you're able to still access that childlike thing.
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Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.
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This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, I want you to trace someone for me.
Tim Vine