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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
Tim Allen
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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
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History
Tell
Chinese
View
Depends
Views
More quotes by Tim Allen
I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
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If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you've made, let's be fair, that means you've got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you've done. It's okay to say, God, I wish I'd done this yeah, but I did do that. Then it kind of balances out.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas - where it's a beautiful theater - is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
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My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad's car. I don't blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don't have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
Tim Allen
I may go back and spice it up with a little bit of the tool stuff and grunting and all that that I know so well. But it feels like I'm rehashing old material. And some of my audiences like that. So I'm there to entertain. I'm not there to make a political statement or anything like that. I'm there to entertain.
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My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
Tim Allen
I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
Tim Allen
If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
Tim Allen
