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My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Boys
Five
Kids
Would
Stepfather
Men
Stepfathers
Stepped
Heroic
Six

More quotes by Tim Allen

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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
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Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
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My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
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Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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I think there's a percentage [of the audience] that don't realize, that don't know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It's more of a ... it's not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
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I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.
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If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you've made, let's be fair, that means you've got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you've done. It's okay to say, God, I wish I'd done this yeah, but I did do that. Then it kind of balances out.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.
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Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if, so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.
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When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas - where it's a beautiful theater - is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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Before Kady was born, I didn't think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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