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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
Tim Allen
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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Stand
Talk
Attention
Moving
Men
Fronts
Front
Promise
Move
More quotes by Tim Allen
Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.
Tim Allen
When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.
Tim Allen
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen
Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
Tim Allen
I think there's a percentage [of the audience] that don't realize, that don't know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It's more of a ... it's not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
Tim Allen
Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
Tim Allen
I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
Tim Allen
Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, And let there be aluminum siding. Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.
Tim Allen
Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if, so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.
Tim Allen
In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
Tim Allen
Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
Tim Allen
I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they're going to want something from me I can't give, or they're going to hurt me.
Tim Allen
My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.
Tim Allen
If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
Tim Allen
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
Tim Allen
If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.
Tim Allen
But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
Tim Allen
A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad's car. I don't blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don't have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
Tim Allen
Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
Tim Allen
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
Tim Allen
