Quote

My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.

Tim Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Mines
Mine
Gift
Smart
Comedy

More quotes by Tim Allen

Image
I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
Tim Allen
Image
Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.
Tim Allen
Image
I have a thing for tools.
Tim Allen
Image
But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
Tim Allen
Image
If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.
Tim Allen
Image
Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie doesn't it? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I am the Denominator. I'll give your leg a compound fraction!
Tim Allen
Image
The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I've always loved that about the hunters that I've known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don't shoot for sport.
Tim Allen
Image
If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
Tim Allen
Image
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
Tim Allen
Image
Before Kady was born, I didn't think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
Tim Allen
Image
Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
Tim Allen
Image
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
Tim Allen
Image
I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
Tim Allen
Image
Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
Tim Allen
Image
When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
Tim Allen
Image
There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
Tim Allen
Image
To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
Tim Allen
Image
The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
Tim Allen
Image
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Tim Allen
Image
I think there's a percentage [of the audience] that don't realize, that don't know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It's more of a ... it's not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
Tim Allen