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My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Mines
Mine
Gift
Smart
Comedy

More quotes by Tim Allen

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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
Tim Allen
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, And let there be aluminum siding. Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.
Tim Allen
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
Tim Allen
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
Tim Allen
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When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.
Tim Allen
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When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
Tim Allen
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
Tim Allen
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
Tim Allen
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
Tim Allen
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I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
Tim Allen
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Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
Tim Allen
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
Tim Allen
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Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
Tim Allen
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Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Tim Allen
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Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.
Tim Allen
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
Tim Allen
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I may go back and spice it up with a little bit of the tool stuff and grunting and all that that I know so well. But it feels like I'm rehashing old material. And some of my audiences like that. So I'm there to entertain. I'm not there to make a political statement or anything like that. I'm there to entertain.
Tim Allen