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I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Great
Learner
Learners
Student
Students

More quotes by Tim Allen

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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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I have a thing for tools.
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I do a lot of family shows.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas - where it's a beautiful theater - is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
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If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
Tim Allen
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Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie doesn't it? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I am the Denominator. I'll give your leg a compound fraction!
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
Tim Allen