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If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Somebody
Probably
Doesn
Else
Made

More quotes by Tim Allen

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My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
Tim Allen
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
Tim Allen
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
Tim Allen
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When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.
Tim Allen
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When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
Tim Allen
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I do a lot of family shows.
Tim Allen
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Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie doesn't it? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I am the Denominator. I'll give your leg a compound fraction!
Tim Allen
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But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
Tim Allen
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.
Tim Allen
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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they're going to want something from me I can't give, or they're going to hurt me.
Tim Allen
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When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine - this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
Tim Allen
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I have a thing for tools.
Tim Allen
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
Tim Allen
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Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Tim Allen
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
Tim Allen
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
Tim Allen
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Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
Tim Allen
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My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
Tim Allen
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
Tim Allen