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If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
Tim Allen
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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Doesn
Else
Made
Somebody
Probably
More quotes by Tim Allen
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
Tim Allen
My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
Tim Allen
I do a lot of family shows.
Tim Allen
But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
Tim Allen
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Tim Allen
Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
Tim Allen
Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
Tim Allen
When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
Tim Allen
I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
Tim Allen
I may go back and spice it up with a little bit of the tool stuff and grunting and all that that I know so well. But it feels like I'm rehashing old material. And some of my audiences like that. So I'm there to entertain. I'm not there to make a political statement or anything like that. I'm there to entertain.
Tim Allen
I think there's a percentage [of the audience] that don't realize, that don't know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It's more of a ... it's not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
Tim Allen
My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.
Tim Allen
I have a thing for tools.
Tim Allen
Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
Tim Allen
To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
Tim Allen
Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
Tim Allen
Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
Tim Allen
Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
Tim Allen
Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if, so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.
Tim Allen
My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
Tim Allen