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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
Tim Allen
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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Anarchist
Ultimate
Comedy
More quotes by Tim Allen
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen
My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
Tim Allen
Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
Tim Allen
There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
Tim Allen
My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.
Tim Allen
Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, And let there be aluminum siding. Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.
Tim Allen
I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.
Tim Allen
My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
Tim Allen
Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
Tim Allen
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
Tim Allen
There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it, .. Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians.
Tim Allen
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Tim Allen
I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
Tim Allen
Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
Tim Allen
Before Kady was born, I didn't think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
Tim Allen
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
Tim Allen
As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
Tim Allen
The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
Tim Allen
In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
Tim Allen
Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.
Tim Allen