Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.
Tim Allen
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Two
Sticks
Pour
Pixie
Trying
Yeah
Priest
Pixies
Men
Saws
Screws
Catechism
Like
Middle
Concentrate
Tube
Class
Swear
Ounce
Jesus
Priests
Tubes
Times
Sugar
Coke
Bigs
Several
Screw
More quotes by Tim Allen
But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
Tim Allen
The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
Tim Allen
Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if, so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.
Tim Allen
Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
Tim Allen
If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
Tim Allen
As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
Tim Allen
The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas - where it's a beautiful theater - is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
Tim Allen
Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
Tim Allen
Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, And let there be aluminum siding. Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.
Tim Allen
I have a thing for tools.
Tim Allen
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
Tim Allen
If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.
Tim Allen
My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
Tim Allen
In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
Tim Allen
I may go back and spice it up with a little bit of the tool stuff and grunting and all that that I know so well. But it feels like I'm rehashing old material. And some of my audiences like that. So I'm there to entertain. I'm not there to make a political statement or anything like that. I'm there to entertain.
Tim Allen
Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.
Tim Allen
Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
Tim Allen
I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
Tim Allen
When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine - this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
Tim Allen
I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
Tim Allen