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My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Dad
Foundation
Death
Things
Earthquakes
Reminds
Shake
Shakes

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Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
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Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I've always loved that about the hunters that I've known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don't shoot for sport.
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Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas - where it's a beautiful theater - is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they're going to want something from me I can't give, or they're going to hurt me.
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I think there's a percentage [of the audience] that don't realize, that don't know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It's more of a ... it's not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
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There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it, .. Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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