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Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Rivalry
Sibling
Causes
Kids
Jill

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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
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There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it, .. Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
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I have a thing for tools.
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I do a lot of family shows.
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Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, And let there be aluminum siding. Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
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I'm one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
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If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you've made, let's be fair, that means you've got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you've done. It's okay to say, God, I wish I'd done this yeah, but I did do that. Then it kind of balances out.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.
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Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if, so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.
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Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
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Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie doesn't it? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I am the Denominator. I'll give your leg a compound fraction!
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