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Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Sears
Aren
Men

More quotes by Tim Allen

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I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
Tim Allen
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Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if, so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
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But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
Tim Allen
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
Tim Allen
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.
Tim Allen
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I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.
Tim Allen
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My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.
Tim Allen
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
Tim Allen
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Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
Tim Allen
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I have a thing for tools.
Tim Allen
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If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.
Tim Allen