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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they're going to want something from me I can't give, or they're going to hurt me.
Tim Allen
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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
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Audience
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More quotes by Tim Allen
I think there's a percentage [of the audience] that don't realize, that don't know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It's more of a ... it's not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
Tim Allen
Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
Tim Allen
There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it, .. Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians.
Tim Allen
The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.
Tim Allen
The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
Tim Allen
Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
Tim Allen
Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
Tim Allen
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Tim Allen
I may go back and spice it up with a little bit of the tool stuff and grunting and all that that I know so well. But it feels like I'm rehashing old material. And some of my audiences like that. So I'm there to entertain. I'm not there to make a political statement or anything like that. I'm there to entertain.
Tim Allen
If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
Tim Allen
I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.
Tim Allen
The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I've always loved that about the hunters that I've known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don't shoot for sport.
Tim Allen
I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
Tim Allen
In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
Tim Allen
But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
Tim Allen
Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
Tim Allen
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen
A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad's car. I don't blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don't have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
Tim Allen
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
Tim Allen
Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
Tim Allen