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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Borrow
Tools
Animal
Men

More quotes by Tim Allen

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Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad's car. I don't blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don't have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
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Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie doesn't it? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I am the Denominator. I'll give your leg a compound fraction!
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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I'm one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas - where it's a beautiful theater - is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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I have a thing for tools.
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
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The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if, so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
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