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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
Tim Allen
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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Borrow
Tools
Animal
Men
More quotes by Tim Allen
The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.
Tim Allen
I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.
Tim Allen
Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
Tim Allen
Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
Tim Allen
I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they're going to want something from me I can't give, or they're going to hurt me.
Tim Allen
Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
Tim Allen
If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.
Tim Allen
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen
If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
Tim Allen
If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you've made, let's be fair, that means you've got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you've done. It's okay to say, God, I wish I'd done this yeah, but I did do that. Then it kind of balances out.
Tim Allen
When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.
Tim Allen
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
Tim Allen
The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas - where it's a beautiful theater - is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
Tim Allen
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
Tim Allen
My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
Tim Allen
I do a lot of family shows.
Tim Allen
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
Tim Allen
I may go back and spice it up with a little bit of the tool stuff and grunting and all that that I know so well. But it feels like I'm rehashing old material. And some of my audiences like that. So I'm there to entertain. I'm not there to make a political statement or anything like that. I'm there to entertain.
Tim Allen
As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
Tim Allen
I'm one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
Tim Allen