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When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.
Tim Allen
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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Opposite
Tells
Opposites
Exactly
Smart
Somebody
Saying
More quotes by Tim Allen
My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
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When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
Tim Allen
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
Tim Allen
But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
Tim Allen
Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
Tim Allen
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
Tim Allen
When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine - this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
Tim Allen
Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
Tim Allen
I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
Tim Allen
Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
Tim Allen
The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
Tim Allen
I'm one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
Tim Allen
There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it, .. Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians.
Tim Allen
I have a thing for tools.
Tim Allen
I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
Tim Allen
My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
Tim Allen
If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
Tim Allen
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen
Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie doesn't it? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I am the Denominator. I'll give your leg a compound fraction!
Tim Allen
