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When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Smart
Somebody
Saying
Opposite
Tells
Opposites
Exactly

More quotes by Tim Allen

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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.
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Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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I'm one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad's car. I don't blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don't have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie doesn't it? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I am the Denominator. I'll give your leg a compound fraction!
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I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.
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Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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I have a thing for tools.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
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If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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