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I have a thing for tools.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Thing
Tools

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My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it, .. Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians.
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The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I've always loved that about the hunters that I've known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don't shoot for sport.
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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they're going to want something from me I can't give, or they're going to hurt me.
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
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If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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I may go back and spice it up with a little bit of the tool stuff and grunting and all that that I know so well. But it feels like I'm rehashing old material. And some of my audiences like that. So I'm there to entertain. I'm not there to make a political statement or anything like that. I'm there to entertain.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
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When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
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When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.
Tim Allen
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I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.
Tim Allen