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I do a lot of family shows.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Family
Shows

More quotes by Tim Allen

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If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you've made, let's be fair, that means you've got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you've done. It's okay to say, God, I wish I'd done this yeah, but I did do that. Then it kind of balances out.
Tim Allen
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When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.
Tim Allen
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
Tim Allen
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The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
Tim Allen
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The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I've always loved that about the hunters that I've known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don't shoot for sport.
Tim Allen
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My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
Tim Allen
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
Tim Allen
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
Tim Allen
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Before Kady was born, I didn't think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
Tim Allen
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If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
Tim Allen
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
Tim Allen
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
Tim Allen
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
Tim Allen
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If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.
Tim Allen
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
Tim Allen
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Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
Tim Allen
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
Tim Allen
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
Tim Allen
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Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
Tim Allen