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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
Tim Allen
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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Comedy
Choices
Jobs
Women
Children
Unmarried
Work
Prison
Always
Choice
Men
Married
More quotes by Tim Allen
There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it, .. Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians.
Tim Allen
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
Tim Allen
I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
Tim Allen
I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they're going to want something from me I can't give, or they're going to hurt me.
Tim Allen
My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
Tim Allen
Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
Tim Allen
I think there's a percentage [of the audience] that don't realize, that don't know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It's more of a ... it's not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
Tim Allen
I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
Tim Allen
A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad's car. I don't blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don't have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
Tim Allen
I do a lot of family shows.
Tim Allen
I have a thing for tools.
Tim Allen
I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
Tim Allen
Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, And let there be aluminum siding. Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.
Tim Allen
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Tim Allen
Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
Tim Allen
There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
Tim Allen
I'm one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
Tim Allen
I may go back and spice it up with a little bit of the tool stuff and grunting and all that that I know so well. But it feels like I'm rehashing old material. And some of my audiences like that. So I'm there to entertain. I'm not there to make a political statement or anything like that. I'm there to entertain.
Tim Allen
I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
Tim Allen
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
Tim Allen