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Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Often
Dream
Women
Things
Men
Love

More quotes by Tim Allen

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I'm one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie doesn't it? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I am the Denominator. I'll give your leg a compound fraction!
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
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I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.
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The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I've always loved that about the hunters that I've known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don't shoot for sport.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
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The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
Tim Allen
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
Tim Allen
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad's car. I don't blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don't have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if, so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.
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Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
Tim Allen
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Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
Tim Allen
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When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine - this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
Tim Allen
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
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