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Before Kady was born, I didn't think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Play
Nice
Closets
Children
Simple
Babies
Would
Funny
Humorous
Time
Bigs
Baby
Think
Born
Deal
Thinking
Next
Humor
Didn
Deals
Kids
Attitude
Closet

More quotes by Tim Allen

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My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.
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My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
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Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie doesn't it? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I am the Denominator. I'll give your leg a compound fraction!
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I have a thing for tools.
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When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine - this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
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The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I've always loved that about the hunters that I've known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don't shoot for sport.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, And let there be aluminum siding. Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.
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Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
Tim Allen
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Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if, so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.
Tim Allen
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
Tim Allen
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
Tim Allen