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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
Tim Allen
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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Comedy
Everything
Men
Pigs
More quotes by Tim Allen
If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.
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If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
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I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they're going to want something from me I can't give, or they're going to hurt me.
Tim Allen
Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if, so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.
Tim Allen
The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
Tim Allen
When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.
Tim Allen
Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
Tim Allen
My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.
Tim Allen
Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
Tim Allen