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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Pigs
Comedy
Everything
Men

More quotes by Tim Allen

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If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.
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The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I've always loved that about the hunters that I've known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don't shoot for sport.
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I have a thing for tools.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.
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Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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I may go back and spice it up with a little bit of the tool stuff and grunting and all that that I know so well. But it feels like I'm rehashing old material. And some of my audiences like that. So I'm there to entertain. I'm not there to make a political statement or anything like that. I'm there to entertain.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.
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I do a lot of family shows.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they're going to want something from me I can't give, or they're going to hurt me.
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The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
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But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
Tim Allen