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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Sometimes
Cars
Like
Dating
Pickup
Witty
Wagon
Car
Wagons
Comedy
Ferrari
Funny
Station
Ends
Truck
Women
Stations

More quotes by Tim Allen

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The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
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If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you've made, let's be fair, that means you've got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you've done. It's okay to say, God, I wish I'd done this yeah, but I did do that. Then it kind of balances out.
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I have a thing for tools.
Tim Allen
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There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it, .. Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, And let there be aluminum siding. Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.
Tim Allen
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Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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Before Kady was born, I didn't think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
Tim Allen
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When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine - this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
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Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
Tim Allen
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
Tim Allen