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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen
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Tim Allen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: June 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Racing Automobile Driver
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Denver
Colorado
Timothy Alan Dick
Ends
Truck
Women
Stations
Sometimes
Cars
Like
Dating
Pickup
Witty
Wagon
Car
Wagons
Comedy
Ferrari
Funny
Station
More quotes by Tim Allen
In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
Tim Allen
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
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I think there's a percentage [of the audience] that don't realize, that don't know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It's more of a ... it's not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
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But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.
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I do a lot of family shows.
Tim Allen
When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
Tim Allen
The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
Tim Allen
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
Tim Allen
Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
Tim Allen
To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
Tim Allen
Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if, so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
Tim Allen
Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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Jill : What causes sibling rivalry? Tim : Having more than one kid!
Tim Allen
Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
Tim Allen
I have a thing for tools.
Tim Allen
When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.
Tim Allen
Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, And let there be aluminum siding. Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.
Tim Allen