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I find brass bands have a melancholy sound. All right out of doors, of course - fifty miles away. Like bagpipes, they turn what had been a dream into a public nuisance.

Thomas Beecham

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Thomas Beecham
Age: 81 †
Born: 1879
Born: April 29
Died: 1961
Died: March 8
Conductor
Sir Thomas Beecham
2nd Baronet
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A soprano in Massenet's Don Quixote complained that she had missed her entry in the aria, because Mr. Challiapin always dies too soon. Madam, you must be profoundly in error, said Sir Thomas, No operatic star has yet died half soon enough for me.
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What can you do with it? It's like a lot of yaks jumping about.
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Without question the most unpopular medium of musical sound in the world.
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The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.
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There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.
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It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
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The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
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Composers and musicians have always starved and, as this is a sentimental country, we think the tradition should be continued.
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The British like any kind of music so long as it is loud.
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Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory.
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Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away.
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They are quite hopeless - drooling, driveling, doleful, depressing, dropsical drips.
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Too much counterpoint what is worse, Protestant counterpoint.
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The bagpipes sound exactly the same when you have finished as when you started
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No woman is worth the loss of a night's sleep.
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Elgar's first symphony is the musical equivalent of St Pancras Railway Station.
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Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.
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In the first movement alone, I took note of six pregnancies and at least four miscarriages.
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The sound of the harpsichord resembles that of a bird-cage played with toasting-forks.
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Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.
Thomas Beecham