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Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

Thomas Beecham

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Thomas Beecham
Age: 81 †
Born: 1879
Born: April 29
Died: 1961
Died: March 8
Conductor
Sir Thomas Beecham
2nd Baronet
Instruments
Musical
Madam
Capable
Conductor
Pleasure
Scratch
Giving
Scratches
Instrument
Thousands
Legs

More quotes by Thomas Beecham

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The British like any kind of music so long as it is loud.
Thomas Beecham
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Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory.
Thomas Beecham
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The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.
Thomas Beecham
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What can you do with it? It's like a lot of yaks jumping about.
Thomas Beecham
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The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.
Thomas Beecham
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If an opera cannot be played by an organ grinder, it's not going to achieve immortality.
Thomas Beecham
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No operatic star has yet died soon enough for me.
Thomas Beecham
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I find brass bands have a melancholy sound. All right out of doors, of course - fifty miles away. Like bagpipes, they turn what had been a dream into a public nuisance.
Thomas Beecham
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In the first movement alone, I took note of six pregnancies and at least four miscarriages.
Thomas Beecham
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Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away.
Thomas Beecham
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The sound of the harpsichord resembles that of a bird-cage played with toasting-forks.
Thomas Beecham
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It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
Thomas Beecham
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Elgar's first symphony is the musical equivalent of St Pancras Railway Station.
Thomas Beecham
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They are quite hopeless - drooling, driveling, doleful, depressing, dropsical drips.
Thomas Beecham
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If she is attractive, I can't perform with her if she is not, then I won't.
Thomas Beecham
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Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.
Thomas Beecham
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A soprano in Massenet's Don Quixote complained that she had missed her entry in the aria, because Mr. Challiapin always dies too soon. Madam, you must be profoundly in error, said Sir Thomas, No operatic star has yet died half soon enough for me.
Thomas Beecham
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Without question the most unpopular medium of musical sound in the world.
Thomas Beecham
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The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
Thomas Beecham
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There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.
Thomas Beecham