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Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

Thomas Beecham

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Thomas Beecham
Age: 81 †
Born: 1879
Born: April 29
Died: 1961
Died: March 8
Conductor
Sir Thomas Beecham
2nd Baronet
Giving
Scratches
Instrument
Thousands
Legs
Instruments
Musical
Madam
Capable
Conductor
Pleasure
Scratch

More quotes by Thomas Beecham

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The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.
Thomas Beecham
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If an opera cannot be played by an organ grinder, it's not going to achieve immortality.
Thomas Beecham
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Too much counterpoint what is worse, Protestant counterpoint.
Thomas Beecham
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At a rehearsal I let the orchestra play as they like. At the concert I make them play as I like.
Thomas Beecham
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I have just been all round the world and have formed a very poor opinion of it.
Thomas Beecham
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The sound of the harpsichord resembles that of a bird-cage played with toasting-forks.
Thomas Beecham
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The British like any kind of music so long as it is loud.
Thomas Beecham
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The bagpipes sound exactly the same when you have finished as when you started
Thomas Beecham
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There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.
Thomas Beecham
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Composers and musicians have always starved and, as this is a sentimental country, we think the tradition should be continued.
Thomas Beecham
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No operatic star has yet died soon enough for me.
Thomas Beecham
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If she is attractive, I can't perform with her if she is not, then I won't.
Thomas Beecham
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I find brass bands have a melancholy sound. All right out of doors, of course - fifty miles away. Like bagpipes, they turn what had been a dream into a public nuisance.
Thomas Beecham
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The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
Thomas Beecham
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It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
Thomas Beecham
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The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.
Thomas Beecham
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Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.
Thomas Beecham
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What can you do with it? It's like a lot of yaks jumping about.
Thomas Beecham
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No woman is worth the loss of a night's sleep.
Thomas Beecham
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Elgar's first symphony is the musical equivalent of St Pancras Railway Station.
Thomas Beecham