One response to feeling abandoned is to abandon yourself.

Personalities are like impressionistic paintings. At a distance, each person is 'all of a piece' up close, each is a bewildering complexity of moods, cognitions, and motives.

Borderlines create the vicious circles they fear most. They become angry and drive the relationship to the breaking point, then switch to a posture of helplessness and contrition, beg for reconciliation. If both parties are equally enmeshed, chaos and conflict become the soul of the relationship.