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Banana daiquiris aren't knock-'em-back-by-the-flagon.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Banana
Bananas
Knock
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More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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SOONER OR LATER ALL MEN MUST DIE. EVERYTHING DIES IN THE END. I CAN BE ROBBED BUT NEVER DENIED, I TOLD MYSELF. WHY WORRY? “I too cannot be cheated,” snapped Fate.
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My agent pointed out one day that I had been quoted by a columnist in some American newspaper, and he noted with some glee that they simply identified me by name without reminding people who I was, apparently in the clear expectation that their readers would know who I am.
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Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine - once. Like the Borg, they learn.
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But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.
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I'm a fantasy writer, called a fantasy writer. But there's very little, apart from one or two basic concepts in 'I Shall Wear Midnight,' which are in fact fantasy. You have sticks that fly, but they're practical broomsticks, with a bloody great strap that you can hold on to so you don't fall off. And you try not to use them too often.
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He looked up at them, a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellised Elba.
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The thing is, 'Discworld' had been going on for a very long time, and I've written children's books as well. Usually when people have a really big series they franchise it, which I thought is a bit of a no-no, so I thought what I'd do is I'd franchise it to myself.
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You just put that sword away, sir, please, said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes. You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder, said the captain calmly. Not where I'm aiming, sir.
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Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point MY POINT EXACTLY.
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See a pin and pick it up, and, all day long, you'll have a pin.
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Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?'
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Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.
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No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].
Terry Pratchett
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In defiance of Miss Maccalariat I'd like to commit hanky-panky with you, Miss Adora Belle Dearheart... well, certainly hanky, and possibly panky when we get to know one another better.
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The singers all loathe the sight of one another, the chorus despises the singers, they both hate the orchestra, and everyone fears the conductor the staff on one prompt side won't talk to the staff on the opposite prompt side, the dancers are all crazed from hunger in any case.
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One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.
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I'm not cruel, sir, I won't shoot you in the guts, but I will make you realize how much you took your toes for granted.
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I reckon that Stonehege was build by the contemporary equivalent of Microsoft, whereas Avebury was definitely an Apple circle.
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DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT.
Terry Pratchett
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Nothing I can say or devise, and nothing anybody else can say or devise, is going to be perfect.
Terry Pratchett