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It's not Brits who think American readers are a bunch of whinging morons with the geo-social understanding of a wire coathanger, it's American editors.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Understanding
Morons
American
Brits
Social
Moron
Think
Wire
Thinking
Editors
Readers
Bunch
Reader

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Why bother with a cunning plan when a simple one will do?
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First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft.
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Million-to-one chances...crop up nine times out of ten.
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Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
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One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.
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Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH,' the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.
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I read the 'Old Testament' all the way through when I was about 13 and was horrified. A few months afterwards I read 'The Origin Of Species', hallucinating very mildly because I was in bed with flu at the time. Despite that, or because of that, it all made perfect sense.
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God does not play games with His loyal servants, said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice. Whooo-eee, said Crowley. Where have you been?
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As large as worlds. As old as Time. As patient as a brick.
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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
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It's daft, locking us up, said Nanny. I'd have had us killed. That's because you're basically good, said Magrat. The good are innocent and create justice. The bad are guilty, which is why they invent mercy.
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We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.
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Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point MY POINT EXACTLY.
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The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.
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Don't you understand? snarled Rincewind. We are going over the Edge, godsdammit! Can't we do anything about it? No! Then I can't see the sense in panicking, said Twoflower calmly.
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Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.
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He stared at his feet. “I’m still very ignorant,” he said, “but at least I’m ignorant about really important things.
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Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can.
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There’s no point in believing in things that exist.
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My idea of a good novel was one you made enough money out of to buy a greenhouse.
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