Quote

Granny Weatherwax was firmly against fiction. Life was hard enough without lies floating around and changing the way people thought.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Hard
Changing
Way
Lies
Life
Fiction
People
Lying
Around
Thought
Granny
Without
Firmly
Enough
Floating

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In the end the problem isn't that you have the wrong sort of government for the People, but that you have the wrong sort of People.
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It was long after midnight and the stars looked damp and chilly the air was full of the busy silence of the night, which is created by hundreds of small furry things treading very carefully in the hope of finding dinner while avoiding being the main course.
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All was black, gloomy and awful. There was no light at the end of the tunnel - or if there was, it was an oncoming train.
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You can't second-guess ineffability, I always say.
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I know it's a very human thing to say 'Is there anything I can do', but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry.
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Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known.
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If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.
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A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got so good at it.
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I would advise budding writers some other kind of job, unless they think they're very, very lucky.
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The Auditors fluttered anxiously. And, as always happens in their species when something goes radically wrong and needs fixing instantly, they settled down to try to work how who was to blame.
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You know I've never agreed with baths. Sittin' around in your own dirt like that.
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No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.
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It was also a room full of books and made of books. There was no actual furniture this is to say, the desk and chairs were shaped out of books. It looked as though many of them were frequently referred to, because they lay open with other books used as bookmarks.
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Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!
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Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folk it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle when they tried to think. In a funny sort of way, they were much better at it.
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Well, the news has got around. The Duchess of Keepsake has invited us to a ball, Sir Henry and Lady Withering have invited us to a ball, and Lord and Lady Hangfinger have invited us to... yes, a ball. Well, that's a lot of... Don't you dare, Sam.
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It's never a good idea to ask a man on a tight-rope how he keeps his balance: a) he would probably fall off and b) he probably doesn't know what the muscles are called in any case.
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Now he knew: They were real. Who’d make up a thing like this? Okay, one of them was a cheese that rolled around of its own accord, but nobody was perfect.
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Maybe the only significant difference between a really smart simulation and a human being was the noise they made when you punched them.
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They can ta'k our lives but they can never ta'k our freedom!' Now there's a battle cry not designed by a clear thinker
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