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Everything happens for a reason, except possibly football. (in Thief of Time)

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Happens
Reason
Everything
Thief
Time
Thieves
Possibly
England
Except
Football

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.
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This was the definition of eternity it was the space of time devised by the Great God Om to ensure that everyone got the punishment that was due to them.
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The best thing I ever did with my life was stand up and say I've got Alzheimer's.
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I saved a man's life once, said Granny. Special medicine, twice a day. Boiled water with a bit of berry juice in it. Told him I'd bought it from the dwarves. That's the biggest part of doct'rin, really. Most people'll get over most things if they put their minds to it, you just have to give them an interest.
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She was convinced that she was anorexic, because every time she looked in the mirror she did indeed see a fat person.
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People flock in, nevertheless, in search of answers to those questions only librarians are considered to be able to answer, such as Is this the laundry? How do you spell surreptitious? and, on a regular basis, Do you have a book I remember reading once? It had a red cover and it turned out they were twins.
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There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.
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The IQ of a mob is the IQ of its dumbest member divided by the number of mobsters.
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Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
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Strength enough to build a home, Time enough to hold a child, Love enough to break a heart
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I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man canna feel the chilly winds o' fate lashing aroound his netheres wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?
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And the people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man's got to have some time to learn to play the tuba. That's oppression, that is. If I'm not under the heel of the oppressor, I don't know who is.
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Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.
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You just put that sword away, sir, please, said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes. You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder, said the captain calmly. Not where I'm aiming, sir.
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Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it. No, actually it isn't, said Tiffany. Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short.
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Out of Print is bookseller speak for We can't be hedgehogged.
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Five exclamation marks: the sure sign of an insane mind.
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It must be hard for humans, forever floundering through inconvenient geography. Humans are always lost. It's a basic characteristic. It explains a lot about them.
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Correct observation followed by meticulous deduction and the precise visualization of goals is vital to the success of any enterprise.
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This is a lovely party, said the Bursar to a chair, I wish I was here.
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